To Go or Stay

"I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,

O’er mountain or plain or sea.

I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord;

I’ll be what you want me to be."

As Adventists, we put a lot of emphasis on going where God wants us to go. One of our favorite verses to recite is “Go, therefore, and make disciples…” We sing songs that talk about “Going afar upon the mountain” and push for missionaries into go into ALL the earth.

Maybe it is because we feel that in going somewhere remote (be it on Kenya's Savannah or a rice field in China), we are becoming the brave souls that mission stories emphasize. Or is it because we feel that when we “go” we reach a higher spirituality than those who “stay.”

Yet is it possible that sometimes God calls us to stay?

This concept is somewhat new to me, perhaps because I’ve heard in church, “Go be a missionary! But if adventure, complete trust in God, and your relationship with Him isn’t strong enough...then I guess you can be a missionary wherever you are at.”

Okay, so maybe people haven’t actually said this but I think that sometimes this is the impression that is given. Yes, in the Bible we find stories of people like Daniel, Joseph, Little Maid, Paul, etc. that ministered to people far from home yet the Bible also tell stories of those who were called to stay. Jesus after all remained in Nazareth for 30 years before God called Him to begin His ministry. And then there are the stories like Elijah running from Jezebel where people ended up in trouble for going where God had not called them.

Going when God calls us to go and staying when God wants us to stay has been echoed by several of the staff here at Au Sable. With so many leaving camp for the summer and the discussion of plans for the future, I’ve thought even more about it.

Now before you start your protests, I don’t mean by any means that “staying” equals not doing anything. On the contrary, it means just as much work and intentionality as “going.” In fact by staying, there is sometimes an even a greater need for purpose and determination because it’s so easy to fall away from what God is calling us to do when we are not completely removed from our comfort zone. As pointed out by many, sometimes the hardest mission field is the one closest to home.

You see, it’s never been about the location when it comes to God’s calling. You could be at the perfect place for ministry yet if that’s not where God has called you, your efforts will be fruitless. Dare I even say it’s not about you, for God could use a million other ways to reach souls, but instead it’s about Him and the work He will do through you.

Which brings me to the whole “women’s ordination” thing…

What would happen if we put less emphasis on the person doing the work and instead focused on the One who has called that person to ministry and the work that He alone has ordained? Maybe the whole question about ordination would become just a bit less meaningful as we would suddenly realize that it is the commissioning of God on men and women that actually carries the importance. I could go on but that’s a subject for another post!

So what is the point of all these words? Simply that there is no difference where you work for God. What matters is the calling He has placed on your life and the way you respond to that call, whether it is to go or stay.

Believing Again

As I stare into the blackness surrounding, a tear trickles down my cheek. I drown out the chatter of the awaiting campers at the Friday night passion play and as I lean against the wall, everything else seems to fade away.

So this is the reason that I’m standing here now. You knew God, even when I doubted.

The backstory to this day begins at the very beginning of camp. As soon as I heard of the 3 Part Play that takes place every year at Au Sable, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Once auditions rolled around, I couldn’t wait to try out for some of the major roles, but when casting was decided, I ended up with a small role in the Passion Play on Friday night. In selfishness, I began wondering why, when God knew I loves acting more than anything else in the world, He was only allowing me to act for less than 4 minutes per week.

Last Friday night I was with my girls at the gym when I noticed one of the girls sitting away from the group, obviously distraught. I walked over to sit down by her and asked her what was wrong. At first she didn’t say much, only keeping the conversation at surface level. Slowly her walls began to break down and she began to cry. She told me about her life, things she said she had never told anyone else before. Abuse, both mental, physical, and sexual, had been a part of her childhood and the guilt she had been carrying around because of this seemed more that such a young girl could handle. Yet this was her life, a life still filled with abuse. She had spent her life feeling like she was damaged goods and having been judged by those very people who were abusing her. As she opened up, she would ask me what she should do about these situations, so many of them impossible for there to be any fast or easy solution.

Although I talked with her for an hour and a half, you could tell that she was having a hard time understanding how God could love her. Although I wished that we could talk more, I had to leave her with another staff member that were part of the cabin family (staff that have been assigned to specific cabins so that they can interact with the campers) because the evening program was going to start in no time at all.

As I ran/walked the mile or so to the Pathfinder Pavilion, I kept thinking about our conversation and praying constantly for her. I rushed to get into my costume and quickly took out the braids that where there to create messy waves in my hair. As the overhead lights turned off and the campers began to file in, I finally had a moment to take it all in.

And that’s when I realized fully that my role in the passion play completely mirrored the feeling of this young girl. You see, my character was the woman caught in adultery. The shame and guilt my camper had felt her whole life echoed what this women (perhaps Mary Magdalene) experienced when thrown at Jesus’ feet.

Think about it. It’s one thing to be caught in sin and taken outside of the city to be killed. It’s a complete different thing to be brought to the most holy place in Jerusalem to a man who has already tried to save you, yet for whatever reason you’ve turned your back on Him and returned to the darkness. You know how you will be viewed in His eyes.

A hopeless cause.

Completely broken and beyond repair.

Getting what is rightly deserved.

How else could He view you?

But instead He is silent as those hypocritical, self-righteous men weave words of charm to trap Him as they have trapped you.  He’s thinking of their sins, not yours. Without spoken words, He silences their charges and with only the movement of His finger, He causes the stones to fall from their hands.

And then when it’s just you and Him, He picks you up from the ground and tells you that although He knows of your sins, He sees a better life for you to live. He loves you in spite of what you’ve done and nothing you could ever do would change that fact. And He’s waiting, waiting for you to make a decision to allow Him to take charge of your life and transform the life you’ve been living into one of completeness and joy.

When my camper stood up when the pastor called for those to stand who wanted to give their lives to Jesus for the first time and then walked to the front to show she wanted to be baptized, I couldn’t hold back a single tear. Through the play she had finally come to understand God’s amazing love and in our cabins journal, she wrote that she now believed again in a God out there who loved her no matter what.

That’s what camp ministry is all about: showing campers the love of Jesus so that they can believe in Him again, either for the first time or for the hundredth time. It's about showing them a love beyond anything they've ever experienced here on earth and making it real in their lives.

Finding the Words

Tears are flowing down her face as she leans against the bunk bed. The visible struggle on her face sets the tone for the decision she is trying to make. She says very little I stand beside her, my arm wrapped around her trembling shoulder. My mind races for the right words. How can I show her the right choice to make?

Oh God, now what do I say?

You know those moments that come out of nowhere and you’re searching for the right thing to say? Those times when you’re in a totally new situation and you don’t have the faintest idea what you should do or say?

Camp is all about those moments, and there’s no doubt that after another 5 weeks here the list of new experiences will increase! Yet some moments stand out more than other’s because you realize so clearly that it has nothing to do with you but all to do with Him. You experience that feeling of complete helplessness and slowly but surely feel the guiding hand of God instructing you with your every action.

Standing by that bunk bed, I felt completely unsure of myself. Our conversation had gone from talking about church clothes to what a relationship with Jesus is all about (something I know could only be the work of God.) She had been quiet and thoughtful all morning but I never in a million years expected the conversation to take such a turn. Sure, this was a girl that had spent most of the week goofing off with her new found friends, but up until that moment, she had rarely, if ever, shown a real desire for spiritual things. As the conversation began to take a spiritual turn, a question popped into my head, “Have you ever accepted Jesus into your life?” At first I shook it off, thinking that it wasn’t the right time to ask such a personal question. I mean, after all, a few minutes ago she had been trying to convince me that wearing athletic shorts to church would be okay. Was this really the right moment? Although I was hesitant, I asked that question. She lowered her eyes and responded that she hadn’t ever exactly done that.

Around this time, tears began filling her eyes, and I left the bed that I was sitting on to stand beside her. I tried to think about what I had heard in sermons and workshops about leading someone to Christ. I’ll never forget how as the silent pauses would grow, I’d offer a quick prayer up to heaven and suddenly I’d have an idea about what I could say.

I’ll never forget the moment she finally spoke to say that she wanted to say yes to Jesus but that she was scared. A few moments later, she accepted Him into her life. There is such joy to see a camper decide to follow Jesus for a counselor that I can’t imagine what it must be like for God to watch as one of His beloved children accept the love He has been offering to them for so many years. I’d only known this girl for one short week, yet she had quickly become someone that I wished to see accept Jesus and having the opportunity to see it happen brings tears to my eyes.

How amazing is our God! He works on hearts that seem unable to be reached and allows us to take part in His ministry. He gives us the words and ideas when we have none. He is our everything and the strength that we can always run to. So next time you don’t know how to respond to someone’s questions, offer up a quick prayer to heaven and watch as God begins His amazing work.