Fleeing

People say that a moment can change a life, and it's true. Sometimes several times in the course of a day!

A long two-day meeting came to a pause when it was announced that there was a girl in the community that had been recommended to come to KGS. Her mother died years before and her father sat in prison serving a life-time sentence. Her aging relatives were not able to support her so she was taken to a government shelter for temporary help. Could she come to KGS, the shelter wanted to know since they could only have her there for a limited time? Of course the answer was a resounding "yes" and within 24 hours "Khanom" arrived at at our home.

The girls were so excited to show Khanom around and help her get used to the way of living here at KGS. They showed her the kitchen, garden, her new shared room, and every nook and cranny in between. She smiled politely but one could notice the scared and uncertain look on her face as each new activity was introduced to her. As we gathered for vespers she quizzically looked at the Bible in front of her, probably seeing one for the very first time. The songs the other girls sung with such excitement had never been heard by her ears as she sat back and watched.

Even though everything was so new, she now had a place of comfort and care. Before food might or might not be set on the table in front of her but now every meal was assured. She had sisters to share her secrets with and friends to learn useful skills. Her hair now sprinkled with lice could become beautiful and braided and her body washed with fresh soap. She was home. No, we all knew it didn't feel like home just yet but the girls were doing their best to make it feel that way as soon as possible.

The next Monday came and off we went to pick up the girls from school. As we pulled up to Khanom's school, a few of the girls ran inside to find her. Minutes passed and finally they came out with troubled looks on their faces. "We can't find her" they said as a staff member jumped out of the car to continue the search. Nearly thirty minutes passed before it was announced that Khanom had gone to her old house with a friend. A motorcycle ride later and again the staff returned, Khanom still not in toe. Finally we had an explanation: "She doesn't want to come back to KGS. She said she doesn't like that now she has responsibilities and chores. She wants to run free in the village and we're going to have to talk with her family in hopes of convincing her to come back."

And so we waited and still wait because at the time of writing this, Khanom still has not returned to KGS. She seems to want to stay independent even though that means danger and possible abuse. If she comes to live at KGS, her schooling through college is basically secure but by staying with her family, such a future is doubtful at the very least. At the moment is may seem the more comfortable choice, but remaining at home puts her future continually in the balance.

Doesn't she see the wrongness of her choice, we might be quick to judge, and yet do we not sometimes do the exact same thing?

We run.

We hide.

We resist change.

There a deep desire to be loved and to be known, but at the same time there is an equally strong desire to be independent and keep things the way they are at that moment in time. Relationships with others, our jobs and careers, and of course our relationship with God all see elements of this involved with every decision. It's more than just choosing self or selflessness. It's about choosing comfort and what feels like security.

Since coming to KGS, feeling out of place and sometimes even a little scared threads itself through most of my weeks. If my home was as close as Khanom's I think I would have been right besides her, running back to where I know I belong. Unlike Khanom, staying here doesn't necessarily guarantee me anything and the end result of my time here may not end up as I hope. But instead of hopping on a plane and saying goodbye to Thailand, I stay.

I stay for the girls who need to see a staff member caring for them who loves Jesus as they do. I stay to bring change to their sometimes repetitive days. I stay to grow myself in the times of trials and to learn from these girls I consider like my own. I stay to show them Jesus and to thus give them the opportunity, both girls and staff, to give their lives to Him. I may be uncomfortable, but some things in life are worth the discomfort and to me these girls are worth all that and more.